Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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