Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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