On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
