I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We need to get me chipped asap
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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