You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize