how can u be prego again
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
