I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
