Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
