I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
