My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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