You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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