Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize