Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
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I need moral support for this bender
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
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You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.