Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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  (737): You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot? (1-737): That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there (737): It's my parent's restaurant http://tfl.nu/0xzo
  Replies (8) Good night (1215) Bad night (2858)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up

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  (586): Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up http://tfl.nu/mvat
  Replies (3) Good night (1993) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No

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  (610): Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight? (570): No http://tfl.nu/7sm8
  Replies (34) Good night (2062) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.

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  (213): I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk. http://tfl.nu/xx5w
  Replies (9) Good night (4728) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.

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  (860): I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes. http://tfl.nu/jq79
  Replies (9) Good night (642) Bad night (3600)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job

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  (847): Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job http://tfl.nu/eur1
  Replies (42) Good night (861) Bad night (5047)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.

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  (856): Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing. http://tfl.nu/px2y
  Replies (15) Good night (4307) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis

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  (267): I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis http://tfl.nu/zmb9
  Replies (21) Good night (1150) Bad night (3655)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.

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  (603): Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case. http://tfl.nu/luz6
  Replies (18) Good night (1160) Bad night (2286)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night

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  (760): my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night http://tfl.nu/6buy
  Replies (4) Good night (2602) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (+82): View more from South Korea

  I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?

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  (+82): I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already? http://tfl.nu/a77n
  Replies (8) Good night (1784) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

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  (304): Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow http://tfl.nu/l8ph
  Replies (10) Good night (4168) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.

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  (360): A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy. http://tfl.nu/2450
  Replies (4) Good night (1560) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.

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  (813): Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype. http://tfl.nu/49n0
  Replies (4) Good night (1235) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.

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  (208): I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join. http://tfl.nu/8sfb
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (199)

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