Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5550) Bad night (582)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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  (703): Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates. http://tfl.nu/cs1d
  Replies (24) Good night (1690) Bad night (4188)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.

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  (401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now. http://tfl.nu/y18v
  Replies (160) Good night (13425) Bad night (1862)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

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  (651): How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out? http://tfl.nu/x0y6
  Replies (22) Good night (5186) Bad night (1678)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids

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  (574): I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids http://tfl.nu/kt7c
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (3692)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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  (410): it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral http://tfl.nu/q6za
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (2414)
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  (916): View more from California

  The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.

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  (916): The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood. http://tfl.nu/ro5l
  Replies (9) Good night (5217) Bad night (1479)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life

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  (201): just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life http://tfl.nu/grtz
  Replies (6) Good night (2658) Bad night (972)
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  (909): View more from California

  Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.

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  (909): Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know. http://tfl.nu/19n8
  Replies (20) Good night (995) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.

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  (928): I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now. http://tfl.nu/gaaz
  Replies (29) Good night (3531) Bad night (716)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.

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  (606): I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell. http://tfl.nu/zj5n
  Replies (14) Good night (2575) Bad night (670)
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  (805): View more from California

  Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life

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  (805): Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life http://tfl.nu/5728
  Replies (3) Good night (1436) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She shouldn't drink

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  (912): It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home (919): She shouldn't drink http://tfl.nu/4gbr
  Replies (9) Good night (575) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding

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  (916): I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding http://tfl.nu/cejl
  Replies (3) Good night (1024) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this hospital has no fireball

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  (256): this hospital has no fireball http://tfl.nu/h1f7
  Replies (4) Good night (529) Bad night (310)

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