Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me? http://tfl.nu/fofz
  Replies (7) Good night (721) Bad night (4207)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend. http://tfl.nu/zfxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3476) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt
  Replies (10) Good night (3210) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug? http://tfl.nu/o9ys
  Replies (16) Good night (893) Bad night (3259)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it. http://tfl.nu/ex81
  Replies (2) Good night (921) Bad night (2169)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with. http://tfl.nu/jmfl
  Replies (13) Good night (5479) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing. http://tfl.nu/8pmo
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (1787)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad. http://tfl.nu/2uqd
  Replies (7) Good night (2013) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched. http://tfl.nu/zef2
  Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration. http://tfl.nu/fur7
  Replies (7) Good night (1703) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I could have done it in 2

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts. (978): I could have done it in 2 http://tfl.nu/64hz
  Replies (7) Good night (3154) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): "Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha http://tfl.nu/1j7y
  Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like. http://tfl.nu/slfh
  Replies (3) Good night (316) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha http://tfl.nu/gfdl
  Replies (5) Good night (607) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE. http://tfl.nu/l3z1
  Replies (8) Good night (1062) Bad night (367)

Randomize