wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.