i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
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She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
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Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.