D3 body, D1 cock
Need sex. Gaining weight.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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