I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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