It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
