Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize