Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
