Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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