You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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