So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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