i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
