Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
