I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
