you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
