You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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