I think scott just propositioned me for sex
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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