If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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