You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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