Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
