I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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