Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
