sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
