No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
