4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He passed out mid-signature
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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