my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
