Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
