she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
