The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
