you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
