Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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