Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
