OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
where am i from again
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
