How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
