I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
