Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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