Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
