**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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