i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
