someone get that fucking seahorse.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize