Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
