I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
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Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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