Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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