Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hippo gnu deer
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
