I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
