I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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