i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
