I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
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Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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