It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
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I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
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Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.