That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT