So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.