I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Can Purell be used as lube?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
did i just pee glitter