I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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