i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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