Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
