I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
