I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
