Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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