There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
