I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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