I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
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You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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