Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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