Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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