I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize