You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
