so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
