I want to stick my p in your. b.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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