I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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