Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
